Don’t be a perfect parent
Isn’t social media great? It constantly tells us what we are doing wrong! Eat this, don’t eat that, oh wait, you can eat this now. Make sure you do this with your children, or they’re screwed up for life! I don’t know about you guys, but social media can do a really good job of making me feel shameful and that I am constantly missing out and not doing something right! I talked about shame a couple of weeks ago. You can read that here. Basically, it’s this feeling that “I am a bad person” versus “I did a bad thing.” Or instead of, “Oops, I could have done that better as a parent” it’s “I’m a bad parent.” Long story short, stop trying to be a perfect parent. I know it’s easier said than done when it seems like every parent on earth has it together and you’re struggling to keep up with the laundry. What we don’t see is the struggle that EVERY parent goes through. No one has it all together all the time. That’s ok!
Share your struggles
Believe it or not, the more you show your struggle, the more other parents will be open to sharing their struggles. Do you remember a time this happened to you? Maybe when you read a blog, or heard a parent say they were struggling with getting all of the supplies bought on time and get back to school shopping done, and you thought, “Oh my gosh you too! I’m glad I’m not the only one!” That’s connection! Now, I’m not saying you need to air your dirty laundry to everyone that you meet. I’m just saying don’t put on a front that everything is perfect. I talked about vulnerability and empathy a couple of weeks ago to build connection as well. This is a perfect time to do that. Share your struggles with other parents and they are more likely to share. You’ve made a connection, and now you feel as though you have an ally in this hard thing called parenting. Parenting doesn’t come with an instruction manual. Everyone is trying to figure things out just like you!
Let your kids see you struggle
I know this sounds weird, but not having it all together is good for your kids. If your kids never see you struggle, and they think you have it all together all the time, they may grow up feeling that when they struggle, something is wrong with them. They see their parents have it all together all the time, and feelings of shame can come in because they aren't living up to the expectation they have of themselves. So, show them that it's okay to make a mistake. You'll teach them that when you make a mistake, you figure things out. They will learn to do that too.
Again, I know it feels like things have to be perfect all the time or you're going to screw up your children. I'm here to tell you that it's just not true! Love your children. That's number one. Family counseling can be a valuable resource in supporting your family's well-being and helping you navigate challenges together. It provides a safe space to address any concerns, improve communication, and strengthen your family bonds. Mental health counseling can also be a helpful resource to support you individually in prioritizing your well-being. Reset and try your best each day. That's really all that you can do. You're going to make mistakes, and that's okay. Learn and move forward. You got this! I know it! Reach out to a counselor at Pineapple Counseling in Flower Mound, TX or Southlake, TX today!
